Blackness of the Abyss
by WildChildALR
Summary: "If thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee." Staring at the Black Spot Billy contemplates his choices which led to him falling into the darkness. A bridge between Black Sails and Treasure Island.


I own nothing

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At a point in his life, if you asked those closest to him, one word would describe Billy, _Good_. Gates would boast he was a good sailor, Flint would concede he was a good Quartermaster, Abigail would insist he was a good man. Even John Silver would tell you he was a good friend. But life brings compromises, and with each Billy felt he compromised a piece himself, compromised some of that goodness. Flint had convinced him that the Urca gold was better left buried and forgotten, better England and Spain fight each other over rumor of its location then loose their lives over it. Lots had been drawn and the six who lost followed Flint onto the island and never returned. Billy had been entrusted with the map because Flint knew he was the one man who'd tell the Captain to fuck himself should he ever want to go back for it, and he was the only one who saw the gold for what it was, evil and destructive. After the disaster that tore Nassau apart and destroyed his crew Billy thought all that was good in life was gone.

Afterword he traveled north and without meaning to found himself in Savanna. He wasn't sure what drew him to the town center that day, but as he watched the townsfolk going about their day he spied her. Lady Abigail Ashe, her dark hair styled in a simple yet elegant manner, her dress plain but well made. She was handing out alms to the poor, and after cooing over a young infant held by a destitute mother, their eyes met across the square. Suddenly it felt like he was back on the _Walrus_ that night so long ago, catching sight of her that first time. Back when life was simple and the future held little concern. But the moment was broken when he tore his eyes away and left, no ran, like a coward to the nearest tavern for as much rum as he could stomach. Over the next week he told himself everyday he needed to leave, make sail for the horizon and never look back. But his feet always took him back to the square where he would watch Abigail and her works of simple kindness. One afternoon feeling particularly brave, or perhaps stupid, he followed her home to a large yet conservative mansion on a nice quiet tree lined street. The next day he once more found himself watching Abigail, though this time it was from across the street as she tended her garden. Once she looked up and glanced in his direction but he hid behind one of the oak trees, a comical sight likely for the tree barely blocked a third of his form. Returning to her pruning she snipped some lavender by the garden gate, stooping to grasp the low plant. Craning his neck to see her better Billy stepped from behind the tree and when she once more lifted her eyes, she instantly spotted him. Billy could feel the magnetic pull of her eyes all the way down to his guts and before he knew it he was standing before her, the garden gate the only barrier between them.

Abigail invited him in for tea as if he were and old friend. They drank in heavy silence, she likely having thousands of questions but was too polite to ask. Instead she broke the noiseless din by inquiring about his health, and weather he would be in Savanna long. He replied he was well and unsure as to the length of his stay. Impulsively she offered him a job as a handyman of sorts to work on the house property. She claimed that there were many duties in need of a man's strength to be done and as she had only a ladies maid and two housekeepers, his assistance would be greatly appreciated. Billy, even more impulsively, accepted. Along with employment she offered him a room, it was small but private and clean. The first night he had terrible nightmares. The six who had perished appeared, their bodies mangled and waterlogged. They screamed curses at him claiming all happiness he would ever again find would turn to ashes in his mouth.

He woke up in a cold sweat and seeing a figure peering over him lashed out. After pinning the person to the wall he was horrified to discover it was Abigail looking very small and frail and oh so frightened. Disgusted he apologized and vowed to leave immediately, but a soft hand upon his shoulder stopped him. Turning back to her, he could barely meet her eyes for they were so full of compassion and honesty. She coaxed him back into bed and gently began to hum a soft tune. He managed to sleep peacefully the rest of the night. As the weeks turned to months Billy slowly was able to put all that had happened with Flint and the crew behind him. The map that held the treasure's location was locked in his sea trunk which lay hidden beneath his bed. Billy and Abigail falling in love, that didn't happen so slowly. Within a year they were married and a handful of months later she came to him telling him she was with child. In hindsight he should have expected the curse of Flint to follow him even here.

With barely two months of pregnancy still before her Abigail awoke one night gasping in pain. After waking Billy, a lamp was lit and a bed full of blood was discovered. The doctor was called immediately but their was nothing to be done, their child was gone. And yet, though he never took a breath the child refused to enter the world. For two days Abigail lay in agony before her son left her body. Billy was beside himself taking in her haunting pale grey pallor. Within a week he buried both his wife and child. After her death, Billy sold all that he could and donated the proceeds to charities he knew Abigail favored. For himself he kept only enough money to buy passage to England. It had been his wife's wish that after the birth of their child, they return to Kensington and try to find Billy's family. Honoring her wish he travels across the sea. When he reached Kensington he visited his old neighborhood and discovered his older sister still lives in their old house. She is mother to five children and wife to an absent husband. His younger brother he learns is in prison for speaking out against the wrong official. His parents he learns have been dead for many years, the both of them being taken by fever just days from each other.

Wishing to help his sister and her children Billy takes work on the docks doing whatever he can. One captain recognizes his experience and hires him on. Being back upon the open ocean, being looked up to by a crew and depended on by a captain helps settle Billy's mind. But awakens the demons in his heart. Most times they simply whispered to him the dark, recounting his failures, the lives lost to his negligence or indifference. But other times they scream, and oh how they scream. In hopes of quieting them he drinks. And drinks, and drinks. Soon it affects his work and the captain, though reluctant lets him go as does every captain he's hired under afterword. Ashamed and full of self loathing he leaves his sister's house and wonders about the city. However one day while wondering the docks, he swears he catches sight of Joji. His hair is nearly white now, but a Japanese man sticks out like a sore thumb in London. Packing quickly he is gone from the city by sunrise the next day. Over the next year he moves from town to town never staying anywhere long. The strain leads him to become paranoid and ages him by decades.

Eventually he finds himself in Bristol, a sizable sum in his pocket he lifted off a rich, pompous merchant a few days before. Renting a room at the Admiral Benbow, a shabby but clean establishment run by a man, his wife and their son. Still fearful of his old crew mates from the Walrus coming after him he hires the boy, Jim to keep a look out for John Silver. Billy knows if the men are after him, "Long" John Silver isn't far behind. At points he's able to enjoy himself on the money gained from the traveler and as he drinks he enjoys shocking the other patrons with his swearing, singing and general bullying. However the past catches up to him one day as Joji strides into the Inn. Though he's fearful Billy doesn't let it show as the pair of them argue privately and even manages to run the other man off. He's making preparations to leave when suddenly his entire left side goes numb and he collapses. When he wakes Billy's told he suffered a stroke and he must stop drinking. He tells the doctor to fuck himself.

That night Billy opens his trunk and carefully unwraps a round package inside. Beneath the stained shirt is a small portrait Abigail, a wedding gift from so long ago. Unable to help himself he sings the country love-song she would hum to her growing abdomen in the quiet evenings they once shared. Perhaps, Billy reflects, the reason why he has taken to Jim so is because he is nearly the age his own son would have been. Sensing the boy outside the door he calls him in and regales him with the story of Flint, the _Walrus_ and the _Urca_ gold. Barley a week later Jim leads Turk into the Inn. Though he's blind now, Turk zeros in on Billy and hands him a folded piece of paper before departing.

Opening the parchment Billy suspects what it contains before its even revealed. The Black Spot glares up at him like the Devil's own eye. Its cruelly ironic in a way, that he receive the mark after he used it as a cover to murder Captain Throckmorten. Staring at the blackness he felt the weight of his sins come crashing down. Letting out a scream he despaired all those he had done wrong. John Silver for abandoning him, Abigail for bringing his curse to her door. He felt the darkness swallowing him whole as he fell down, down, down.

Opening his eyes he was blinded for a moment by pure white light. Sure it was Hellfire he flinched when a hand grazed his face. However, as the gentle touch was repeated he blinked and his eyes adjusted. He lay on his back in a seemingly endless field of wildflowers his head in a woman's lap. Twisting about he caught sight of her face and his heart lurched seeing it was Abigail. Sure some mistake had been made he none the less grasp onto her tightly, burring his face in her hair.

At the Admiral Benbow however, Jim Hawkins and his mother stared down at the lifeless body of the pirate formally known as Billy Bones.

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I'm not sure what season 3 will have in store for us and despite desperately wanting some Ashebones, I know the outcome between Flint, Silver and Billy isn't a happy one.

Read and Review!


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